it's been one year since my first post, and what a year it has been.

happy anniversary to me :)

yesterday was a full day, surprisingly so.

i had been morbidly depressed just before christmas hit, missing papa and ron and wishing i have everything. was that too much to ask for?

rex and i were dreading the family party a little. for a change, it was held at tita fele's house in central park and for the first time in nearly 20 years, the "adopteds" were not with us. i meant the mangaoils, fornilloses, bernardinos, and tita sol. it was strangely incomplete.

the absences, though felt, were not dwelt on. everyone was in party mode by the time the lechon arrived. nothing livens up a magdamo party like crackling roasted pig skin :D

there were a lot of firsts happening. my cousin lea june, a flight attendant with asiana airlines, was able to secure a leave for christmas and for the first time in years attend our annual gathering. tito toto, papa's older brother, was kidded as "ang kapatid naming OFW" by his sisters, having failed to come home for the past few christmases even though he's only working in manila.

for the first time, jakob and his parents did not spend christmas here. an-an was also missing, having decided to spend the holidays in cebu. and for a change, it was ron who was unable to come home instead of us.

another thing missing for the very first time was tita helen's signature chicken macaroni salad. now that absence was certainly felt.

in spite of all these, laughter rang out from every corner of the house, kids running everywhere, gift wrappers strewn about...it was still fun. our family always is, regardless of circumstances.

dili bitaw, malipayong pasko ninyong tanan!

my brother Ron sent me an e-mail the other day about bookmooch. apparently, he unearthed the overflowing pile of paperbacks i kept hidden under my desk and this was his way of telling me to finally deal with it. granted, i probably haven't read half of them in over a year, but parting with my babies hurt!

i saw the inventory of books from philippine-based moochers and it wasn't all that impressive, but i'm willing to give this a shot and hang in there until i find myself a good read.

take note, i never said anything about adding my own books to the list, hehe.

Fancy that, I am Time's Person of the Year--well, me and over 6 billion other people.

happy birthday, mama!

with much love and gratitude,
your only daughter :)

earlier today, i decided to get out of the neighborhood and try driving alone to the mall--which is actually just behind the subdivision i live in.

still, it is not with little trepidation that i coursed through the busy streets.

a new driver inevitably stalls in the middle of traffic. yes, cringe.

while i desperately tried to quickly re-start the engine, other cars maneuvered their way around me and i could see the drivers look at me and shake their heads.

i could read the same thought from each one of them, the same words i used to damn my own sex when i was just a smug, self-righteous passenger--"sheesh, women drivers!"